


The Twelve Days Before Christmas and Two Bonus Days

by sspaz1000



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Drive-Ins, Escape Rooms, Implied Blowjobs, M/M, Wine lots of wine, holiday parties, it's christmas time y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:26:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28278357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sspaz1000/pseuds/sspaz1000
Summary: It's the first year where all the Roses are not in Schitt's Creek. Stevie wants to make a new tradition. Lots of wine is consumed. Everyone has fun.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 14
Kudos: 57
Collections: Schitty Friends Gift Exchange 2020





	The Twelve Days Before Christmas and Two Bonus Days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lastchancecafe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchancecafe/gifts).



> Thank you to [blackandwhiteandrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackandwhiteandrose/pseuds/blackandwhiteandrose) for the beta. 
> 
> Prompt: The Brewer Escape Room?  
> David and Patrick's first married Christmas?  
> Stevie's 12 days of wine?
> 
> Also sorry it's over the word count. I tried, I really tried but apparently David and Patrick just like to be chatty.

On the first day of Christmas, Stevie walks into the Apothecary asking for her case of wine.

“Stevie, isn’t it a little early for that?” asked Patrick.

“No. This year, I’m going to drink a bottle a day for 12 days.”

“What has gotten into you?” David asks, walking out from the back.

“MmmK.” David says, giving Stevie a knowing look. This is the first Christmas where everyone is spread out, and she may be a bit emotional this year.

“You guys coming to the motel tonight?” She huffs.

“We’ll see you after work,” Patrick says.

David nods in agreement as Stevie picks up her case and heads out.

By 5:30 David and Patrick arrive at the motel with pizza. They enter the office, and spend the rest of the night eating pizza, drinking wine, and catching up.

When the wine is finished, Stevie hands the boys a room key because there’s no way they are driving home.

* * *

**Day Two:** David hears the ping on his phone and sees the text from Stevie. “Your place tonight.”

David walks over to Patrick and kisses his temple. “Looks like you’re cooking.”

Patrick rolls his eyes and chuckles softly. “Yep.”

****

After a delicious spaghetti dinner, the three of them moved into the living room to look for a romcom on TV. When David squeals “Ohh! This is one!” Stevie and Patrick know a story is coming.

They sip their wine, David goes on for 20 minutes about the male lead and by that point they’ve missed most of the movie but are enjoying David’s antics. Of course, Stevie stays the night.

* * *

**Day 3:** Stevie appears at the Apothecary, impatient for them to finish work.

“What is going on? Are you kidnapping us?” David asks.

“I’m sure it’s fine, David.” Patrick reassures his husband. “Why are you so excited, Stevie?”

“Christmas Vacation is playing at the drive-in, and we’re going!”

David groans. He doesn’t hate the movie, but he also doesn’t love it. But he will revel in the fact that Stevie is willingly taking them to a drive-in.

Once they arrive Patrick is sent to get the snacks. Once the door is closed, Stevie pulls wine from the glove compartment.

David laughs. “Of course. You want to talk about your feelings yet?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Ok.” David grabs the bottle and opens it, then takes a swig. “I know the holidays are weird this year. Sunrise Bay is going strong, and Alexis is off doing PR for Interflix, but we’re making our own traditions, and I like it.”

Patrick returns with snacks and sees the wine, and chuckles. “Guess I’m driving home tonight, huh?”

* * *

**Day 4:** Stevie gets a frantic text from David about Christmas tree hunting not going well. “Ok, I’ll be there tonight. It’ll be fine David.”

Stevie sends a text to Patrick, asking WTF was going on. He responds, “We’re at Ray's Christmas tree place.”

“Say no more. On my way, with lots of wine.”

****

Once back at the cottage, Patrick gets the tree in the house and sets it up. “See, David. It doesn’t look so bad.”

“That was horrifying. We are never doing that again. When I say we’re going to Elmdale for a tree, we are going to Elmdale.”

“Agreed.”

Stevie walked into the living room with three glasses of wine, “What, you didn’t like Ray’s selection?” she laughed.

“Absolutely not. His options were… incorrect.”

Stevie hands David the glass and he empties it.

“David, slow down.” says Patrick.

“What?” It has been a day.

They spend the night laughing, listening to David go on and on while they decorate the tree.

* * *

**Day 5:** Stevie is at the Apothecary as they are closing for the night.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” David asks, as Stevie grabs a bottle of wine and some cheese from the fridge.

“Yes, I do. Here. For wine,” she retorted.

She goes to Patrick and pays for the items before he closes out the drawer.

“I thought I was going to have to write that as damaged product.” Patrick says, finishing up.

“I thought about it, but I didn’t want to set David off tonight.”

“So kind.” David snarks at her.

David pulls the chairs out and they sit talking about their day, agreeing Stevie had the worst of them. None of them want to imagine Roland in weird positions on the roof.

They sit and drink and laugh, reminiscing about the last time they did this.

Patrick smiles, “It was when David called me his boyfriend.”

Stevie looks at David and says, “So, do you still excel as a solo artist like Beyoncé, or has that changed?”

David glares at her. “Both. Definitely both.”

* * *

**Day 6:** Patrick texts both David and Stevie. “I’m so sorry, but as I was walking back from the post office, Ray saw me. I couldn’t say no to dinner.”

“Oh fuck.” Both David and Stevie reply in unison.

“Stevie, bring a couple of bottles of wine.” David texts back. “I’ll grab some cheese from the store.”

****

They make their way to Ray’s for dinner. Ray was welcoming and enthusiastic as ever.

“Hello boys, Stevie. How are you all?”

“Thanks for inviting us tonight, Ray. It’ll just be like old times.” Patrick replies.

They all chuckle as Ray ushers them into the kitchen. “I’ve made chicken parm tonight. I hope that’s OK with everyone.”

“Sounds great, that will be great with the Pinot Noir I brought,” Stevie says, setting the wine in the middle of the dining room table.

Patrick goes into ‘help mode’ just like he did in the early days of having David over.

Once dinner was served and the wine poured, Ray began regaling Stevie with stories of David and Patrick’s early relationship. Stevie was lapping it up, eager for all the details. David and Patrick were sitting there, mouths agape, realizing Ray heard a lot more than he ever let on.

David leaned over to Patrick. “I can never show my face here again.”

Patrick chuckles. “What can I say? We’ve always had fantastic sex, and I’m not ashamed of it.”

David preens, but still tries to change the subject of the night’s conversation.

* * *

**Day 7:** Patrick sends a group text with the suggestion of drinks at the Wobbly Elm. Both Stevie and David agree immediately.

David and Stevie both wear their leather jackets and black jeans with white tops and David convinced Patrick to wear a pair of dark jeans and a nice pullover. “One of these days, we’ll get you a leather jacket.” David murmurs.

“Ok, are you guys going to need a room already?” Stevie snarks.

“Sorry, not sorry,” replies David. “I mean look at my husband.”

Stevie snorts, “Yeah, not bad, Brewer.” Patrick blushes.

They grab a round of beer and head to a table, when they notice a stage being set up in a corner.

“I swear to god, Patrick, you better not get any ideas.” David says as he takes a sip of the beer.

“It’s just karaoke, David. It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun.” teases Stevie.

“I’ll have you know, I haven’t done karaoke since that unfortunate abduction incident.” David retorts.

“Come on, we know you love to belt a good Mariah,” laughs Patrick. “It’s the holidays. Do the Christmas song.”

“I’m not drunk enough for that.”

Patrick and Stevie just stare at David, unconvinced. Then suddenly he’s at the bar grabbing shots for them and talking to someone to get signed up for karaoke.

After a couple mediocre performances Patrick is called and gives a rousing rendition of The Proclaimers’ “I’m gonna be (500 miles)”. He even gets the audience in on the chorus. After he’s done, he’s feeling slightly buzzed from the drinks and applause and heads to the bar for another round of drinks.

Stevie grabs hers and gulps it down when her name is called. She impressively belts out Evanescence’s “My Immortal”, to everyone’s surprise. The song finishes, and the whooping and hollering from David and Patrick cause her to blush.

Finally, it’s David’s turn. He claims he’s the least talented of the three, but he gets the entirety of the Wobbly Elm on its feet dancing to Mariah’s “All I want for Christmas”.

After their performances, Patrick switches to water, but David and Stevie end up with a bottle of Zhampgane. It’s as close to wine as they are going to get for the night. When the bottle is finished, Patrick calls an Uber, and Ray is waiting to take them back to their cottage.

* * *

**Day 8:** Stevie tells them they are coming to her place, and they will be making Christmas cookies. David and Patrick stop at Brebner’s to pick up her grocery list.

“David, not one complaint tonight, OK?”

“My head still hurts from last night.”

“I know, you’re going soft in your old age.” Patrick smirks. He loves trolling David about how old he is.

David glares at him as he tries to walk away from Patrick to gather some of the shopping list. Patrick puts his arms around David and murmurs, “You’re not old, you’re just becoming dignified.”

“Still not getting laid tonight.” David replies.

Patrick chuckles. “Are we even sure we’ll make it home from Stevie’s tonight?”

“We’ve had sex there before.”

“Not with her around!”

“Details. Come on, Patrick, grab the ingredients and let’s go.”

****

As they begin unpacking the groceries, they notice that Stevie’s already downed half a bottle of wine.

“I feel like we should have brought more wine.” Patrick says.

“Nah, we’re good. Cause I’ve got this.” She pulls out a perfectly wrapped joint.

“Not going home tonight!” David states.

Patrick sorts out the ingredients, and the three of them work on mixing, rolling, and cutting out the cookies. Stevie pauses to light the joint and passes it around.

Even buzzing, they somehow don’t burn down the apartment. The night ends with cookies everywhere and the three of them crashed together on the bed.

* * *

**Day 9:** David is at Town Hall picking up the permit for tomorrow night’s event when Ronnie insists that David come to her games night. “It’s ugly sweater themed.”

“Absolutely not.”

“No choice, David.”

“I’m bringing Patrick,” he says, hoping their rivalry will get her to cave.

Ronnie rolls her eyes, “The thumb can come.”

“Don’t call him that.”

“Fine. For you.”

****

When Patrick hears the plan, he protests. “Nope. Can’t make me do it David.”

“She didn’t give me a choice. Stevie is going, too. And yes, I bet I can make you do it.”

“I’m sure you can, but why would you?”

“Because I want to see her ugly sweater, and if you don’t do it, no sex.”

“That’s not fair, David.” Patrick whines.

“Patrick, I know you can be civil. We’ll make an appearance and have a drink. I’ll make it worth your time,” David says, winking.

****

When they arrive at Ronnie’s, Patrick’s wearing an ugly sweater and David… is not. He is, however, carrying one.

Stevie opens Ronnie’s door. “Booze is over there,” she says, laughing at Patrick’s sweater. “Why are you not wearing your festive sweater?” She grabs it to check it out.

“Imagine me in that Rudolph thing you’ve got on.”

Stevie laughs, “Yeah, no. But you might want to pull Frosty on before they decorate your sweater with tinsel.”

“Eww, no.”

Patrick returns from the bar with drinks. “Figured you might want some courage to put Frosty on.”

David glares at them and swallows his glass of wine in one gulp. “Gimme that.” He grabs the Frosty sweater from Stevie and pulls it on just as Ronnie makes her way over.

“Not bad Brewer,” She says, eyeing his sweater with a garland box that lights up.

Ronnie, wearing a light-up Grinch sweater, hands a twenty to Stevie who gladly accepts. “Can’t believe you got him to do it.”

“Thank you very much.” Stevie gives a little curtsey.

“We are never speaking again.” David huffs.

“It’s for one night.”

“You know if you stop complaining, I can think of a few things that I could do to melt Frosty.” Patrick winks, giving David’s butt a playful smack.

David stands there jaw agape, wondering for just a moment how his life is now ugly sweater parties.

Smiling, he heads towards the group playing charades and joins in.

* * *

**Day 10:** David is complaining. Again. Patrick knew it was just nerves about hosting the first event in their upstairs space.

“Why did I let you talk me into this, three days before Christmas?” David asks, arms flailing.

“Because we both know it’s a solid business move. We have 30 people coming tonight. Each of them paid $30 for their kit, and there’s tickets for wine.”

David takes a deep breath, “You’re right. This town likes their booze.”

“There we go.” Patrick kisses the worry line in David’s forehead. “Go upstairs, start setting it up. I’ve got it down here.”

“Text me if it gets busy.” David walks upstairs and starts setting up the tables and the chairs they rented from town hall and the participant’s name tags and stocking kits.

The rest of the day went by quickly, and before David knew it, Patrick was coming upstairs telling him he had dinner waiting for him. They sit on the couch in the storeroom and David starts eating, while Patrick takes a deep breath and rests his eyes for a moment.

“Why didn’t you text me?” David whispered.

“I know you want tonight to be perfect. I know it’s the first of a small expansion for us.”

“I would have come help.” David puts down his food to kiss Patrick slowly in thanks.

****

As the people start arriving, Stevie mans the bar and the wine sales. “I think this is going to become a yearly tradition.”

David’s eyes go big. “Doubtful.”

“Maybe next year we add one in for kids, too.”

“Incorrect, Patrick.”

“We can always upsell the parents, David.” Patrick winks at him. “Get upstairs.”

David makes his way upstairs to officially kick off the program. With the introductions complete, one of their vendors starts talking about decorating tips to get everyone started. Patrick joins David upstairs, snapping a few photos for their socials. “I think tonight is a success, David.”

David looks at everyone laughing, decorating, and drinking and nods “Yes, yes, it is.”

They both smile at Stevie walking around selling more wine tickets. “At least tonight it’s not us doing all the drinking,” Stevie says, as she passes them.

“Who said I wasn’t drinking? I don’t recall that.” David scowls.

The three of them laugh together, watching the community they love enjoy a crafty evening.

* * *

**Day 11:** Patrick suggests they light the Menorah as it’s the last night of Hanukkah. David gets a little fidgety at the idea. “It’s just we... I haven’t really celebrated in years, and I just like having it out to see it. We don’t have to do anything with it.”

“Ok. But… I know some of the wine we are trying out from that new vendor is kosher, and I was thinking of maybe attempting some latkes?”

David was touched by Patrick’s thoughtfulness. He really shouldn’t be surprised at this by now. David gets a soft smile on his face. “Yes, I’d like that.” He pulls Patrick into a hug and gives him a kiss. “Thank you. Do we have all the ingredients?”

Patrick walks to the cabinets and fridge to double check, “I think so.”

David does a cursory follow and mentions not seeing applesauce and sour cream in the fridge. David text’s Stevie and asks her nicely to go to Brebners on the way over.

****

Stevie arrives with the goods, and the three of them take turns frying up the latkes. David doesn’t like the fact the oil splatters, because it’ll ruin the Givenchy he’s wearing. They also agree that the new wine is exceptionally good and should indeed be stocked at the store.

When dinner is done, David lights the Menorah.

“Thank you for this.”

Stevie and Patrick pull David into a squishy group hug.

“Never tell anyone I was this sentimental.” Stevie grumbles.

They all laugh and squeeze each other tighter.

* * *

On Christmas Eve, Stevie decides that the three of them need to spend the evening at the cafe. As David and Patrick made Stevie help them close after their shortened workday, they made their way to the cafe.

Twyla has the place decorated nicely, and the trio takes at a seat at their usual booth. Carols are playing quietly in the background, and little Rollie Jr. is running around with Jocelyn chasing after him.

Twyla comes and takes their order and brings over a bottle of wine. “Merry Christmas,” she says brightly as she pours them each a glass.

Stevie looks around and feels a bit emotional.

“Don’t you dare cry.” David says, but he understands the feeling. It’s different this year. Moira and Johnny are in California, and Alexis had a new premiere for Interflix happening the day after Boxing Day.

They all knew they’d be FaceTiming with the Roses later that night.

“Do I look like I’m crying?” Stevie snaps. “Maybe I just really like the wine.”

David does his half smile thing towards Patrick and whispers, “Yeah, she just likes the wine.”

They spend the rest of the evening eating a moderately edible meal, FaceTiming the Roses, and enjoying an impromptu performance by the Jazzagals. David and Stevie exchange a glance, realizing they wouldn’t have this any other way.

* * *

***Bonus** :

On Christmas Day, David is somehow awake before Patrick. David shifts his body, so he’s the big spoon around Patrick. He drops light kisses on Patrick’s bare shoulder, causing Patrick to sigh softly.  
“Merry Christmas, honey.” David murmurs.

Patrick moans, as David moves south with his kisses. David gently pushes Patrick onto his back, his mouth ghosting along the waistband of Patrick’s boxers. Patrick is definitely more awake than he was a moment ago, and lifts his hips so David can easily remove his boxers. “What did I do to deserve this?”

David lifts the sheet so he can look at Patrick, “It’s our first Christmas in the cottage.”

“This better start a holiday tradition.”

“Of course, the holiday blow job will be a yearly custom.” David laughs against Patrick's belly, as he lets the sheet cover him and he takes Patrick in his mouth.

Patrick closes his eyes and enjoys the sensations, and once David is finished, and he can breathe again, he returns the favor.

****

After their morning in bed, David and Patrick spend the early afternoon cooking Christmas dinner, while Stevie pours the wine and shares some of her motel stories. They drink and laugh through dinner, thankful for all the time they’ve been able to spend together.

After dinner they sit on the couch and David lets Patrick insist on watching “A Christmas Story” while they open presents.

Patrick might be the only one who would admit it out loud, but none of them could imagine a better Christmas.

* * *

***Bonus: 2**

The 12+1 days of drinking with Stevie have come to an end and Patrick is excited to be spending the New Year with his family. They made the road trip with relative ease - Patrick driving while David slept in the passenger seat, wrapped up in a blanket burrito.

Marcy and Clint greeted the boys with enthusiastic warm hugs. When David asks what the plans are for New Year’s Eve, he is instantly worried at the mischief in Patrick’s eyes. David looked around and saw the same glint in all the Brewer’s faces. “I swear to god Patrick, if I have to do another one of those things...”

Patrick laughed. “Yep, it’s tradition! You get to experience my hometown’s finest escape room.”

“Oh god. Nope. Not happening. I’ll stay here and celebrate alone.” David protests, glaring at Patrick.

“Oh, it absolutely is happening, David.” Patrick leans and presses a kiss to David’s temple.

David sighs and accepts his fate.

****

Once at the escape room, David is unsuccessfully trying to not participate, preferring to watch the Brewers in action.

“Come on, David. At least, pretend like you’re trying.”

“Why should I? Look at you guys! I now realize why you were so excited to do this at our bachelor party.”

“David.”

“Fine, Patrick.” David subtly sighs, “Where are we?”

“There’s 40 minutes to go,” Marcy says. “And I’m struggling a bit with this clue.”

David walks over to Marcy and reads the clue. They sit and huddle for a few and David shouts out an answer to Patrick and Clint, who complete the task and the next puzzle unlocks.

They work together and manage to unlock the door with 20 minutes to spare. As they walk out of the escape room Patrick gives David a hug. “Thank you.”

“For what?” David asks, already pleased that he made Patrick happy.

“For trying. Dare I say you even had fun?”

“If you tell anyone else, I’ll lock you in a no-escape room. But yes, doing that with your family is much better than with my family.” David chuckles and gives Patrick a sweet kiss.

****

Later that night, the Brewers host a small group of friends, and David & Patrick are cuddled up on the couch together. “Can’t wait to kiss you at midnight,” David murmurs into Patrick’s ear.

“Same.”

Games were played, and David was polite enough to keep quiet about the incorrect amount of people for ideal gameplay.

About five minutes till midnight, champagne glasses were passed around and the ball drop on TV was turned on. David snuggles closer to Patrick, and they lock eyes, waiting to ring in the new year.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

“Happy New Year!” everyone shouts.

They clink their glasses and David leans in and gives Patrick a soft kiss.

“Happy New Year, David.”

“Happy New Year, husband.”

They look around to see everyone hugging and kissing, and share a smile knowing that the year ahead is going to be filled with love and adventures for both families.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to all who talked me off my meltdowns cause I freaked out a lot. Writing in this fandom feels so scary at times. And I got into my head.


End file.
